


Kiss you tonight

by waywardimpalawriter



Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 19:05:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7726252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywardimpalawriter/pseuds/waywardimpalawriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He thought pushing you away would be the right thing. Now watching you dance with someone else all he can think about is wanting to kiss you tonight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss you tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: Bucky x reader  
> Prompts: #48 “It’s okay baby, I’m here for you.” And #56 “You’re hurting me, let me go.” Requested by @claaruucha. Bucky battled hard to tell me how he wanted this written so I hope you enjoy hun and that it’s what you envisioned.  
> Warnings: cussing, self-hatred, angst  
> Setting: years after Civil war.  
> Note: The song Kiss you tonight is by David Nail.

Nursing a crystal tumbler of 50 year old scotch, grey blue eyes hiding a storm of emotions as they glance from the dance floor, to his glass. Fist tightening almost to the point of shattering the crystal piece. 

“Easy Terminator,” Tony’s deep voice spoke from his left, though he doesn’t acknowledge the inventor’s presence. “That crystal isn’t cheap you know. More than you’re pay grade.” 

He’s trying to get a rise from the silence figure beside him, while helping himself to a glass of the same 50 year old liquor, taking a healthy pull letting the smooth burn flow down his throat. Turning, Tony knows who the other man is staring at through the mirror behind the bar. Watching as you twirl around the make shift dance floor, dressed in a dark blue evening grown that hugged your curves and accentuated your assets, Sam leading you gracefully. He understands the burn that has nothing to do with the alcoholic, the bitter taste of regret sour in the pit of his stomach. Tony knew all too well and surprisingly enough didn’t want the sullen solider next to him to keep feeling those pains.  

“You know saying you’re sorry always works,” trying again, and only catching the glare the other man threw him. If looks could kill he’d be a pile of ash on the granite floor, “Suit yourself, old man, just remember its hell being alone when all you have to do is suck it up and tell her you’re wrong.”

 Drink in hand, Tony went to mingle searching for his own partner, one he’d came close to losing not too long ago. His personal war with himself, not to mention the civil one with Rogers took its toll and showed him that sometimes he could be wrong. Forgiveness hadn’t been easy for anyone, most of all for the man he’d left back at the bar and even for himself. Yet, with time, and understanding, peace was accomplished. 

His back to the mahogany bar, head still bowed till the sweet sound of laughter has it snapping up watching as peels of mirth fall from your lips at something Clint, your knew partner said. Delicate hand pressed around your waist, head tossed back as waves of h/c hair cascade down your shoulders. Wishing and not for the first time that he’d done things differently. Maybe you’d be in his arms tonight, dancing at Stark’s party, celebrating his and Pepper’s engagement. Instead he stood alone with his scotch that didn’t do a damn thing for him accept burn his throat, and his thoughts. 

Right as his eyes stared to leave yours, they locked and held. He saw so many emotions flit across your beloved features before being locked down with a fake smile spread across your pale lips. Acting as if nothing transpired between the two of you. No matter how much Bucky wished things were different it didn’t change the fact that you weren’t his anymore.

Frustration getting the better of him, Bucky downed the last of his glass, swiftly leaving the common’s area before he did something stupid, like pull you aside and devour your lips. Tasting the soft plumpness again would only destroy his heart even farther. Besides he couldn’t risk your health or happiness. Bucky knew it’d be selfish of him to keep you from a life you deserved instead of one tied to an ex-assassin most still loathed and wanted locked up. 

Meanwhile, you watched Bucky’s retreating form from your position on the dance floor, Clint still swaying your around to a smooth country beat. 

“You should tell him kid,” deep voice spoke softly into your ear a note of sorrow lacing the normally jovial timber. “You both are sufferin’ for no reason other than pig headiness.” 

Head dropping to his strong shoulder, “He chose this Clint I can’t make him do something he doesn’t want. When clearly he rather be alone.”   

“He doesn’t,” shaking his head, Clint removed the hand from around your waist to your chin tipping it up so he could stare into your eyes. “As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, hell most men and women don’t, but he’s scared Y/N. Scared of what you make him feel, of what you’d come to mean to him, but most of all of losing you and he can’t control that.” 

“So pushing me away is the answer?” 

“Only one he could think of,” exhaling Clint stopped the movements, “He’s been through so much, you know that Y/N. Programed to kill, mind destroyed and yet there was a modicum of control, not his own mind you, control all the same.  But with you he feels at a loss, of not being able to command the situation when things go off the rails and you’re stuck in the middle, getting hurt.” 

“But I can take care of myself.” 

“You can and do, yet that doesn’t mean Bucky is going to see things that way. He’s going to see you hurt when he could’ve stopped it,” one other thought came to mind. “Most of all he’s more afraid that in the end you’re going to wise up and see him for the monster he thinks he is.” 

Gasping softly, head shaking, “I’d never…” 

“No you wouldn’t but some still do and that kiddo is the biggest fear our Sergeant Barnes has. He’d rather let you go and live a life without him thinking it’s for the best then risk you happiness.” 

Bottom lip between your teeth, nibbling lightly, thoughts swirling around in your head, “When’d you get so wise Barton?” 

Grinning sheepishly “Laura’s rubbed off on me. Just don’t tell her that I’ll never live it down,” winking, he let you go in search of his wife. Taking her from dancing with their oldest son. 

All of a sudden you found yourself partnerless, mind racing filled with what Clint had told you. You’d be lying to yourself not to admit the simple fact is you still loved Bucky, more than any man you’d ever in your entire life. Yet, he’d been the one to walk away, to call it quits when the going got tough or maybe there’d been more to it that he never said. Either way you needed air and being surrounded by half drunk party people wasn’t the place to hash out these thoughts. 

Steps quick, arms wrapped around your waist, only thing that gave you pause is a firm hand on your bicep keeping you in place. 

“Where’s the fire beautiful the night’s still young,” voice heavily slurring from one to many Jack Daniel’s, eyes leering, focused on your breasts. 

“I’ve had my fill, thank you very much,” you return trying to pull your arm free, only to have it tighten painfully. 

“Come on baby I’ve been watching you all night, let’s have some fun,” he tried pulling you along behind him, but you dug your heels into the granite floor. 

Rolling your eyes, “Yeah that didn’t sound pervy or creepy at all,” you snark trying again to pull free. 

“Don’t be like that baby it’s just one dance between the sheets, naked, just the two of us,” he yanked you closer, smelling the whiskey on his breath damn near made you puke right there. 

In that moment you recognized the man as a hack journalist, most likely snuck in as no invitation would’ve come his way that works for a trash mag who only dug up lies to print as truth. Frustration ran ramped through your veins at being detained by this low life but his grip wasn’t lessening, “You’re hurting me, let me go damn it,” you growled tugging to free your arm. 

“Ah come on not like you’re gonna get someone better, stop being a bitch and lets go,” he demanded fire dancing in his alcohol glazed eyes. 

A slice of fear crawled up your back, as panic started to set in, head whipping around to find someone to help. Till, “Let the lady go before you lose that hand,” his deep voice music to your ears, as your eyes fell on the tall form of one James Buchanan Barnes. 

Snorting, his hold still tight, “Lady I highly doubt asshole, why don’t you go…” his voice cut off by a strong hand closing around his throat, flesh instead of bionic. 

“You should learn some manor’s punk they seem to be lacking in your generation,” Bucky growled angrily into his face, steal blue eyes almost clear in fury. 

The grip on your arm loosens enough for you to pull free, taking a few steps back and towards Bucky’s side. “James,” laying a hand on his arm more fearful of what his conscience would do to him if he hurt the asshole in his grasp.

He looks down at you, an array of emotions flitting across his handsome features, before turning stony while he looks back at the guy in his grip. “I’d suggest you run if you’re smart.” 

“Which I don’t think he is,” you snark unable to resist a jab at your would be assailant. Bravery in the face of fright right then.  

Letting him go, his body dropped to the floor, before he picked himself up, scrambling to raise, keeping one eye on Bucky while standing dusting himself and taking off down the hallway stumbling most of the way out. 

Adrenaline fading, that courage you’d had just a few seconds ago seemed to be leaving just as quickly as it manifested. Leaving you a tab weak in the knees, your body swaying till a pair of strong arms came around your waist holding you tight to his side. 

“It’s okay baby, I’m here for you. I’ve got you,” Bucky drew you closer leading the both of you to the bench set up for tonight outside the common’s room. He knew being this close wasn’t a good idea though in this moment he couldn’t find the strength to pull away, or leave. 

 Gently Bucky took your arm in his hand, warm fingers running over the blooming hand print marring your skin, a wince hissing through parted lips as you glance down surveying the damage. “I can’t believe the nerve of that jackass,” voice shook slightly trying to reign in the fear that slowly dissipates from your veins. 

Merely grunting his answer, Bucky let your arm go, tingles still firing up his hand from the softness of your skin. A great need pulled at his heart to make sure you’re okay, yet he pushes that aside remembering and hating the choices he’d made. 

Watching the array of emotions race across his face, you chewed your bottom lip so uncertain of what direction to move in next. Till, “Thank you James.” 

You’d always called him James, well most of the time. On occasion, Bucky would slip in, and when you’re mad Barnes would slip in. You’d told him long ago that while he wasn’t and never would be again the old James Barnes that was still his name. Hydra nor anyone else would take that from him, besides you have always loved the name and the way it rolled off your tongue never failed to drive a streak of heated pleasure up his body. Even now when he’s supposed to be staying away from you, Bucky could feel that same tingle. The familiar warmth it gave him and a need to press his lips to every inch of your body he could find. Though he reframed from the impulse, damned himself. 

He tips his head forward slightly, raising to full height, heart heavy, body cool without you in his arms. “Glad to be of service Y/L/N.” 

Biting the inside of your cheek as tears pricked the back of your eyes, trying to speak before he walked away again. Not understanding how one minute you could be so brave and the next especially when it came to Bucky you’re scared and unsure. Your only clue is the wild thumping of your heart as you stand grasping his bionic hand within yours, “Please don’t leave.” 

Glancing back, eyes drifting down to your joined limbs, remembering that you’ve never had a problem with him being different. “We, I… I should go.” 

Sighing, looking up into tormented steely grey blue eyes you gather what courage you can, “For all your strength, your weak,” puzzlement flashed in those eyes as you watched him close. “You’re a fool you know that James?”

Brow lifting, turning to fully face you, “What are you talking about doll?” 

“Don’t,” taking a deep breath you pull your hand from his grasp balling your fists. “Don’t call me that unless you mean it James.”

Shaking his head, confusing deeply rooted since he has no clue what you’re talking about. “Riddle’s aren’t my thing Y/N plan English will do.” 

Crossing your arms, letting out a frustrated huff, “I get your scared Bucky I do, but love isn’t supposed to be easy. It’s supposed to make you feel crazy one moment and sane the next, and things happen that are out of our control. But to push it away…” 

“That’s not why…” 

“No, then why? Why did you push me away if you’re not scared?” a demanding tone in your voice the only clue as to what sort of emotions ran through your veins. 

Hand at the back of his neck, rubbing slightly trying to figure out just what and how to answer you. “We’re not good…” 

Having had enough of the excuses, your fist makes contact with his chest hard this time, fire blazing in your e/c eyes. “For the love of all that’s holy if you say we’re not good together, that you don’t want to see me hurt one more time Barnes I’m getting Steve’s shield and bashing you over the head with it.” 

He didn’t know wither to be amused or worried since normally you weren’t the violent type, “Y/N,” a slight begging quality to his voice has you pausing and really staring at the man before you. 

Stepping closer, bodies with barely an inch between the two of you. You reach up cupping the side of his two days’ worth of stubbled chin forcing him to look at you. Yet trying to hold back nuzzling into the warmth of your touch. “I don’t know who or why or even what has got you thinking these thoughts James, but their wrong,” gliding the pads of your fingers up his sharp jaw, twirling the wayward lock of hair around your finger, before sliding over the shell of his ear keeping your hand on the back of his neck.    

“I’m not good for you,” he breaths out closing his eyes at the soft touch of your fingers, the other hand having joined its partner to cup the side of his jaw again. Senses are on overload, your scent, warmth and very present driving him insane with need. 

I catch myself wishing

You were whispering my name

Every star, every scar

Every mark upon my heart

Up and fades away

“Bullshit,” resisting the urge to childishly pull his hair to get him to listen. “Have you been taking to Tony again or maybe my mother?”

Brow lifting at the latter’s mention but gives no answer just stares at you caught in your eyes and soft touch. 

“Cat got your tongue Sergeant?” you snark left hand still softly stroking his jaw drawing a shutter from his body as your right hand pulls the tie from his hair. Soft locks of chestnut hair falling into your hand as your fingers start to card through gently. “I’m not giving up on us anymore James, you might as well give in and join me,” you breathe having closed those few inches, lips ghosting over his left cheek. 

I feel myself missing

Everything I threw away

Every dream, every scene

Every song we'd ever sing

Got lost in yesterday

“Y/N please,” he wasn’t above begging this time unlike the last. When he’d just stormed out after telling you it’s over, giving you the only reason he could that he’s dangerous and you deserved better. He wanted you to have a better life than he could give. “You deserve…”  

Fed up, frustration, and sexual tension, all three moving through your body like lava down a mountain side, making for some very strange bed fellows. But also driving your impulses to make him see that he’s wrong. Therefore you give into baser desires having missed the taste, the feel of him, you crash your lips to his desperately. Mouth molding, trying to coax some kind of response, nibbling on his bottom lip, tugging it between your teeth, dragging it with you as you detach. Heart plummeting into your navy blue heels, mind racing, thinking he didn’t feel the same anymore. 

Foolishness, embarrassment heat your cheeks staining them red while you pull away, eyes slowly opening, when had they closed, to stare at a closed eyed Bucky. Almost as if he’s savoring you, which in turn confuses you even more. “I deserve you James, because despite what others may think and even what doubts trouble you I will always love you. That will never change.” 

Do you find yourself wondering

If I still think about you

Every thought, every step

Every tear and every breath

I swear I do

Yeah, that's all I ever do

 Hot tears slip passed their ducks, ruining mascara in their bid for the end of your cheeks. Hands start to pull away when you feel the callused touch of Bucky’s fingers brush those tracks of moisture away, “I don’t deserve you,” rough hoarse voice whispers capturing your face between his hands keeping you from leaving this time. 

Leaning his forehead against yours, breathing in your scent and warmth, “I give.” 

Three weeks later

“Alright who ate all the caramel popcorn?” Natasha demanded from a chair three down from center glaring at the gathered group. Which consisted of Tony, Pepper, Steve, Wanda, Vision, big surprise but he’d been joining in from time to time, Sam, you and Bucky. Clint home with family, Thor on Asgard and Bruce well big guy went MIA after the engagement party again. 

Everyone had piled into the compounds theater room, for Friday night flicks, a weekly, barring no mission of course, movie night were everyone would show up in pajamas with different snacks and drinks. Pulling movies by lottery to keep it fair, getting both Steve and Bucky up to date on films and even the occasional TV show. 

Shrugs and head shakes till a noise from behind her garnered her attention, “Damn it Rogers really? You couldn’t make your own,” she snarks turning to toss a handful of buttered popcorn at the sandy brown headed super solider. 

Giving her a sheepish look while still stuffing more sticky goodness in his mouth. “I’ll make more Nat don’t worry.” 

“Children,” shaking your head, hearing Bucky snort. “I think we’re the only adults here,” you laugh feeling his arm tighten around your waist fingers dancing against your stomach through the soft cotton on your actually his t-shirt. 

“I think you’re right doll,” he answers from behind as you’re currently sitting in his lap, resting his chin on your shoulder. 

Offering him a Milk dud, which he takes snaking his tongue around the chocolate covered caramel bit, nipping playfully at your fingers. “James.”  

“Hmm?” he hums grateful for the throw tossed over the both of your laps, while his human hand starts a slow path down the outside of your thigh.

“Eyes on the movie buster and hands to yourself.” 

“Can’t help it darlin’ not when I got the world’s most beautiful woman in my arms,” he breathed against the shell of your ear before licking a strip to lobe drawing it into the warm cavern of his mouth. 

Chuckling which turned into a soft moan when his mouth slid behind your ear and started to suck on one weak spot. Sighing, “You know I love this movie Bucky.” 

“We can watch it later naked in our bed?”

“For the love of God Frosty take your woman and get out the rest of us are trying to enjoy the movie,” Tony snarked gaining a smack from Pepper beside him. 

“Man’s got a good idea,” you laugh when Bucky stands with you in his arms, throw dropping to the floor. “Take me to bed baby.” 

“God I love you Y/N,” he growled all but running out the door, peels of your laughter following the two of you. 

 


End file.
